Why We Love the One We Love
So, we all know that marriage takes work, right? I mean, let’s face it, even romance novel junkies like myself recognize the work and potential disasters between the pages.
What is it about someone else that makes one of us say, “You’re it. The one for me. I’m ready to settle down, join my dreams and plans with someone else’s, and start a permanent family.”?
I’ve really been struggling with this in light of what I could say to others who are struggling. See, we don’t live in a perfect world, and that dream relationship doesn’t always work out the way we planned. Even worse, it affects a whole lot of people other than the man and woman directly involved.
I believe in loving and supporting people where they are in life. That means if the one who condemned others finds themselves divorced and wanting to date again, I tend to look over what they said in the past and help them deal with the present.
Sure I think they need to ask God to forgive them, and I bet they really need to forgive them self, but they don’t owe me anything. Nor do they owe the many people (I’m not talking about minor children in the midst of a divorce here) who feel hurt by the couple’s decision to split up anything.
And that’s where my mind has been lately. Stuck in limbo trying to figure out how to be a real friend to the one’s who are moving on and the one’s who can’t accept that someone is separated or divorced because it goes against everything they believe in.
So I decided to do something to get unstuck. To stop being frustrated by something I can’t seem to change. I decided to love.
And I decided to create.
My sister has had an “I love you because…” board (or something VERY similar) displayed in her kitchen for several years. I have no idea where she got the idea, but I do recall a friend of hers making mention that she (my sister) had one too.
This project I set out to create isn’t a new idea, nor do I in any way claim that it is my original idea. I simply wondered WHY my husband still loves me 20 years after we met. That got me to wondering if he has any idea why I love him 20 years after we met.
Again, let’s be honest. We don’t really have time for joint hobbies. If we do have hobbies, we do them separately so the other one can cover the kids.
We don’t have the same bodies we had 20 years ago. We pretty much have 2 of the same bodies we had 20 years ago.
There was a day we’d lay in each others arms and stare into each other’s eyes for hours. Now? If we lay down on a flat service, we’re finding the most comfortable position for whatever body part ails us and snoring replaces the staring.
We don’t date; we grocery shop after dinner. Oh, and at dinner we won’t talk about plans or dreams or the future, we’ll talk about the kids, surviving until payday, and what we absolutely have to get at the grocery store on the way home.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure he has no idea either. So, here’s what I did.
- 8X10 picture frame with glass
- 1 sheet 8X10 background paper
- 1 sheet 8 1/2 X 11 copy paper
- dry erase marker
- 30 minutes to infinity depending on how intricate you choose to be
- Choose your background paper to determine the color scheme for your font.
Create font for board. I used www.picmonkey.com to create my text. You can use a word processing program, photo editing program, or anything that will let you type and print. You could also use rub-on transfers, stickers, or stamps to create the text.
- Print your text on a plain piece of copy paper to see how it will lay on the background paper and to see how you need to insert the background paper in to your printer. I drew an arrow on the top of the paper, pointing IN to the printer before I printed. That way I would know exactly which way the paper needed to go into the printer.
- Next, I took my frame apart and used the cardboard backing as a template to trace onto my 12X12 scrapbook paper that I would be using for background paper. I made sure to line it up where I wanted my text to show.
- I then cut the paper down to size using the scissors. I cut just inside of my pencil markings.
- Then I placed in paper into the printer as my test page indicated in order to get the words on the correct side.
- Finally, I placed the paper on the cardboard, popped the glass on top, and looked over my finished product.
- Tomorrow morning my husband will find a message written in dry erase marking telling my why I love him at that exact moment. What an easy way to remind him that I do love him daily for reasons that are timely.
I’ve had all kinds of ideas for embellishing and making great art with this project, but my frame just kept sitting and sitting and sitting. This project wasn’t about making it into some competition; it was about making my marriage a little better today rather than someday when it might be too late.
What are some other simple, yet visibly present, ways we can remind our spouses why we love them or maybe even that we love them? I’d love to hear your suggestions!!!
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