Why We Love the One We Love

So, we all know that marriage takes work, right? I mean, let’s face it, even romance novel junkies like myself recognize the work and potential disasters between the pages.

What is it about someone else that makes one of us say, “You’re it. The one for me. I’m ready to settle down, join my dreams and plans with someone else’s, and start a permanent family.”?

I’ve really been struggling with this in light of what I could say to others who are struggling. See, we don’t live in a perfect world, and that dream relationship doesn’t always work out the way we planned. Even worse, it affects a whole lot of people other than the man and woman directly involved.

I believe in loving and supporting people where they are in life. That means if the one who condemned others finds themselves divorced and wanting to date again, I tend to look over what they said in the past and help them deal with the present.

Sure I think they need to ask God to forgive them, and I bet they really need to forgive them self, but they don’t owe me anything. Nor do they owe the many people (I’m not talking about minor children in the midst of a divorce here) who feel hurt by the couple’s decision to split up anything.

And that’s where my mind has been lately. Stuck in limbo trying to figure out how to be a real friend to the one’s who are moving on and the one’s who can’t accept that someone is separated or divorced because it goes against everything they believe in.

So I decided to do something to get unstuck. To stop being frustrated by something I can’t seem to change. I decided to love.

And I decided to create.

My sister has had an “I love you because…” board (or something VERY similar) displayed in her kitchen for several years. I have no idea where she got the idea, but I do recall a friend of hers making mention that she (my sister) had one too.

This project I set out to create isn’t a new idea, nor do I in any way claim that it is my original idea. I simply wondered WHY my husband still loves me 20 years after we met. That got me to wondering if he has any idea why I love him 20 years after we met.

Again, let’s be honest. We don’t really have time for joint hobbies. If we do have hobbies, we do them separately so the other one can cover the kids.

We don’t have the same bodies we had 20 years ago. We pretty much have 2 of the same bodies we had 20 years ago.

There was a day we’d lay in each others arms and stare into each other’s eyes for hours. Now? If we lay down on a flat service, we’re finding the most comfortable position for whatever body part ails us and snoring replaces the staring.

We don’t date; we grocery shop after dinner. Oh, and at dinner we won’t talk about plans or dreams or the future, we’ll talk about the kids, surviving until payday, and what we absolutely have to get at the grocery store on the way home.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure he has no idea either. So, here’s what I did.

Supplies Needed:

  • 8X10 picture frame with glass

    Cheap front-loading frame from Wal-Mart.

    Cheap front-loading frame from Wal-Mart.

  • Pencil
  • 1 sheet 8X10 background paper
  • 1 sheet 8 1/2 X 11 copy paper
  • scissors
  • computer
  • printer
  • dry erase marker

Time needed:

  • 30 minutes to infinity depending on how intricate you choose to be

The process:

  1. Choose your background paper to determine the color scheme for your font.
  2. Text on custom (8X10) transparent canvas.

    Text on custom (8X10) transparent canvas.

    Create font for board. I used www.picmonkey.com to create my text. You can use a word processing program, photo editing program, or anything that will let you type and print. You could also use rub-on transfers, stickers, or stamps to create the text.

  3. Print your text on a plain piece of copy paper to see how it will lay on the background paper and to see how you need to insert the background paper in to your printer. I drew an arrow on the top of the paper, pointing IN to the printer before I printed. That way I would know exactly which way the paper needed to go into the printer.
  4. Next, I took my frame apart and used the cardboard backing as a template to trace onto my 12X12 scrapbook paper that I would be using for background paper. I made sure to line it up where I wanted my text to show.
  5. I then cut the paper down to size using the scissors. 20150608_173849 I cut just inside of my pencil markings.
  6. Then I placed in paper into the printer as my test page indicated in order to get the words on the correct side.
  7. Finally, I placed the paper on the cardboard, popped the glass on top, and looked over my finished product.
  8. Tomorrow morning my husband will find a message written in dry erase marking telling my why I love him at that exact moment. What an easy way to remind him that I do love him daily for reasons that are timely.
20150608_174937

Finished and framed!

I’ve had all kinds of ideas for embellishing and making great art with this project, but my frame just kept sitting and sitting and sitting. This project wasn’t about making it into some competition; it was about making my marriage a little better today rather than someday when it might be too late.

What are some other simple, yet visibly present, ways we can remind our spouses why we love them or maybe even that we love them? I’d love to hear your suggestions!!!

 

 

 

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15 comments

  • Great idea. Every day, you can write a new reason why you love your marriage partner. I hope he does the same for you.

  • What a lovely idea to acknowledge the many lovable reasons you are together.

    • Carol,

      Thanks so much for stopping in. I think it’s something very much overlooked in marriages today. I hope I can inspire others to think about WHY they love someone today…not why they fell in love with them.

  • Both of you are together for reason and it’s as simple as love

    • Tina,

      Thank you for dropping in! It seems that love is as easy, if not easier, to fall out of as it is to fall in to. I want to be proactive in making sure we remember to show and tell love daily. I hope I can inspire others to do the same. 🙂

  • This is so lovely! Giving yourself great reminders why you love one another. it is easy to become ships passing in the night for sure.

    • Shonda,

      Amen. Life becomes routine when we don’t have to work to convince someone to love us, to want to be with us. I hope to put an “in your face” daily reminder that is current. “I love you today because…”

  • I went through an icky experience yesterday when I felt a serious lack of support (not loved) was on the line. Granted I was dealing with a working relationship, but I felt a serious lack of respect. It’s important when we express our love for the other that we also come across with kindness and integrity. Those qualities will never be overrated. Never.

    • Dorit,

      Thank you for dropping in!!!! Your comment may have just inspired my next post. 😀 I’m sorry you had a bad day because of those who impact your day, but I have a suggestion to make it better.

      Send them a note of encouragement making sure to thank them for being a good example, something they do/did, etc. It might be hard, but I bet it makes YOU feel a lot better.

  • This is a good idea. I’m not sure if it would suit my house, but I really like how you can write in any personal message though.

  • Too many of us forget why we were attracted to our loved one. We get swept up in the details and stresses of life. Right now, in a caregiving situation, my spouse of 41 years and I sometimes find ourselves snapping at each other. I need to do something like this – a bit simpler – but something that will help remind me and let my husband I know I still love and appreciate him, no matter what.

    • Alana,

      Something like this would be awesome in your situation. When we push ourselves to find, or remember, the GOOD, the not so good has a way of becoming more tolerable. We remember WHY we do what we do. I’ll be praying for your situation, and if you come up with something to do, will you come back and tell me?

  • This really is a beautiful and creative idea – and a great way to hopefully get our families involved – for my hubby and I, I make sure that I visit while he’s having coffee in the AM and in the evening before we retire, I bring up lessons I learned and ask him the same for the day – it’s all part of us staying connected – as you are doing, building it deeper. Congrats 🙂