Thinking Things to Death
Blogher NaBloPoMo January:
Wednesday, January 2, 2013Which daily tasks take up the most of your energy?
I’ve been thinking about this all day.
And that one statement answers the question. Did you catch it? Do you see the “task” that takes up most of my energy each day?
It is the most unproductive task of them all for me.
It’s what I do.
All day long. Every day. About everything. And I rarely actually accomplish anything because I’m too busy thinking about how to accomplish all the things I need to accomplish.
I hide in my head. All day. Every day.
It’s safe (somewhat) there. Even when things, hypothetically, don’t work out the way I want them to, I can simply think of another plan.
I have a plan for everything. For every scenario. For every response. For every possible outcome.
Because I’ve thought about it. A lot. You could say without ceasing.
I’ve been thinking (LOL) and posting quite a bit lately about seeing a past a person’s words into their heart.
We’ve all heard it said that we don’t truly hear when we listen because we’re too busy formulating in our mind what we’re going to say next.
I’m guilty. Absolutely guilty.
I am always thinking. There’s a good chance I’m not really listening. There’s a good chance I’m not really looking. My eyes might appear to be open, but in all reality, I’m lost within my own mind, thinking about what’s next, what happened in the past, what might happen IF.
I can’t hear your heart because my thoughts are drowning it out. I can’t vacuum my floor because I’m too busy coming up with a plan on how to get myself to vacuum the floor routinely without fail. I can’t take the first step of faith in helping that kiddo in need because I’m lost in the planning phase in my head…all the things I’d have to do first to meet the requirements, all the changes I have to make, all the things my family want to do first, all the back-up plans for when things go wrong.
What daily task takes up the most of my time? Well, it most definitely isn’t a task!
It’s a time sucker. It’s a defeater. It’s an encourager of my fear. It’s a self-sabotager. It’s simply my ability, and obsession, with thinking things through.
I can think something to death. Literally.
Have I killed something or someone? Well, maybe not in the literal, literal sense, but yes.
Things that use to bring me joy are now simply tasks on my to-do list. They are things I do because they need to be done. They are things I do to move me up a ladder. They are things I do because they make me look good. There really aren’t things I do just because they make me happy.
Hmmm. This makes me think of reading. I do like to read. I read for “fun”. I’d like to say I need to think about this for a while, but I don’t. I read to escape. I read to go the places I want to go. I read to have the life I’d like to try for a day or two. I read to not be thinking about the things I’m stuck on that day.
So, yes, I even read with an ulterior motive.
Some of you had no idea I spent so much time thinking before this strange post. (It has taken on a life of it’s own.) Some of you are debating arguing with me because you’ve seen positive effects of my critical thinking abilities. And some of you are ready to start preaching.
Let me help.
In the midst of the miracle, Jesus Himself took time to address the thinkers in the crowd.
“Why are you reasoning in your heart?” Notice Jesus didn’t ask them why this had them messed up in the head. He didn’t ask them why they were rolling these thoughts around in their head. He asked why they were rolling them around in their hearts.
Now, don’t draw conclusions there that aren’t there to be drawn. I am a born again believer! I have accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior, I confess my sins, and accept His forgiveness. My heart matter is not the same heart matter as these scribes and Pharisees, but I believe Jesus would speak the same words to me.
So, on this second day of 2013, as I recognize my thoughts to be a huge drain on my energy, my time, and my joy, I am drawn to Philippians for encouragement and inspiration.
Some links on listening skills that I found useful: