Snarky Replies to Spam

CarInsurance

I’m going to make a thread of replies I want to send to some of the spam comments I have been receiving lately.

http://carinsurancebargains.info/new_cars_insurance_included.html
carinsurancebargains.info/new_cars_insurance_incl…x
mvk3t6hcze@outlook.com
193.201.227.60

Son of a gun, this is so helpful!

Reply

Dear Flo, Jake, Gecko, The General, Aflac Duck, or whomever else is hoping to solicit car insurance customers on my blog:

Thank you, I think, for taking the time to track down my blog post and leave the 122nd useless blog comment this week. Perhaps if you actually read the blogs you leave comments on you could add something to the conversation rather than simply get labeled spam over and over.

I typically don’t each spam fresh, but I definitely wouldn’t eat it rewarmed and served over and over.

This is approximately the 17th time I’ve had this exact comment left on this exact blog post. Odd that so many people trying to sell me car insurance have taken from my content and my pictures that I am male. In a society full of offended people, I try not to be one, but sir or madam, I am offended. Who addresses a potental client by gender if they are unsure?

I am also curious, sir or madam, what precisely makes this particular blog post “so helpful”, as you put it? Is it the part that says it’s a Birthday Celebration?

I mean, I guess that could be helpful. If you were invited to a party and needed to know what kind it was. However, this party was months ago. I occurred in January 2015. It’s almost August 2015. Let it go. You weren’t invited.

Or perhaps the “so helpful” part was, um, no, well, no.

Ok. There isn’t anything else in that post! I do actually publish helpful posts. This would have been helpful had you wanted to join a blog hop in January, but since you’re still posting comments that don’t apply in any way, shape, or form in July, I feel it’s only fair I let you in on the fact that this post isn’t helpful to you. At all.

Please stop spamming my account. I am not a son. Neither of my parents are weapons that shoot ammunition. There are much more efficient ways to hock your product.

You may come back when you have something of benefit to add to the conversation. Good luck in your seriously misguided efforts to be a salesperson.

Sincerely,

Annoyed Blogger #7,843,256

4 comments

  • Those spam robots are fools!

  • Love it! I agree, spammers are SO annoying, and some (most) of the comments they leave are so ludicrous and typically totally unrelated to the post!

    Here’s one I just got yesterday from someone named “Kimberley”–

    “you can make your page go viral easily using one tricky method. Just type in google:
    [spammer’s] method to go viral”

    Yeah, but no thanks!

    A couple more spam comments just for fun (wonder if you have had the same ones):

    “Excellent blog here! Also your site loads up very fast!
    What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host?
    I wish my web site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

    Here is my webpage: [spam site]”

    and this gem (misspelled words and all):

    “May I judt say what a comfort to discover someone that truly understands what they’re talking about on the net.

    You certainly nderstand how to bring a problem to light annd make it important. More and more people must check this out and understand this side of your story. I wass surprised you aren’t more popular because
    you surely pssess the gift.”

  • hahahhaha. i can so relate!!!!!