Finding Freedom Through Blogger’s Block
This blank document is staring at me.
You have nothing to say. No amazing blog topic. No great thoughts that will drive the 49 page views you need to reach your goal by tomorrow to your page.
Actually, I think I’m at over-stimulation.
Too much going on, too much to think about, too much to process, too much to possibly write about, too much to wonder if I’d be crossing any no-no lines personally, professionally, or just lines that no one wants me to cross.
Sometime I wish I could just write.
You know. Write without having to think about it so much. Write without have to filter everything. Write without having to censor all of my thoughts. Write without having to be politically correct. Write without having to be concerned over who’s toes I would step on, which rules I’d be close to breaking, who might read on a given day and be offended or think I might be vaguely referring to them…
I wish I could be honest without fear of being judged.
Isn’t that what everyone wants?
I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. People who just want to be accepted for who they are without having to hold back.
How much do we hold back? How much do we censor? How often do we pretend to be someone we aren’t really just so we can be accepted or fit in?
See, I don’t really want you to pretend to be someone else. At the same time, don’t expect me to be someone I’m not.
We can be friends. We can hang out. We can get our nails done, share a meal, and even shop together and be totally different people. I don’t have to like the same books you like. I don’t have to have the same style as you. You don’t have to drink Mochas. You don’t have to be a conservative, romantic with a liberal streak.
I want to be free to speak my mind even when it seems to go against what I believe, and not be judged unmercifully for my feelings. Because guess what? When I calm down, when I think things through, when I’m done spouting my nonsense, my beliefs are rock solid. I am who I am.
Today, I just need you to listen and nod…and then later forget everything I said in my moment of insanity. We all have those. I’ll do the same for you.
I want to be free to discuss things that challenge your beliefs without you being offended. I want to discuss, not condemn. Will you talk with me? Debate with me. Challenge me back. When we’re done, I’ll still love you if you don’t change your mind to see things my way.
I want to be free to tell you what I believe. I’ll listen to you in return. I like to learn. I like to share.
I want you to feel free enough to tell me when I’ve made a mistake without fear of me cutting you off. Friends don’t let friends continue to do the same dumb thing over and over. Speak up, please. I’ll do the same for you.
I want you to be real around me. Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear. I can’t stand compliments for the sake of compliments. If it isn’t heartfelt, don’t bother. I’d rather you tell me the truth that might hurt my feelings than to lie to me.
My page isn’t blank any more!
Go ahead, blank page, mock me. Make fun of my inability to transfer a thought to the page. I’ll just keep thinking out loud even when it goes against your grain.
It’s who I am, and I’m free to be me!