Find Faithful Friends–Unfriend the Rest
Sweet friends, I am so blessed to wake up every morning and find scripture after scripture, motivational quotes, Christian music, prayer, and positivity on my Facebook feed from those I have friended and follow who get up earlier than me.
Many mornings, after my daily Bible reading, I catch up with everyone as I drink my coffee and wake up. I wake up with a Facebook timeline that inspires me to live my day as a light for Christ.
As a scrolled through post after post this morning, I found that I was smiling, excited to go to work, and anticipating God using me to bless someone else. Silly little things on social media spoke to me.
Rushing through the rest of my morning routines found me reflecting on several conversations I’ve had in the past few weeks with various individuals. Some who are simply acquaintances and some who are very close to me, but all have been sharing the same message with me.
“I’m just not spending much time on Facebook anymore. It does nothing for me other than make me angry.”
Friends, I get it. I do.
I’m not even going to attempt to try to encourage people to spend more time on social media. I have no problem admitting that I spend too much time there and need to be intentional about limiting my time.
However, I wonder why we allow a social media site to influence our emotions in such a negative way.
Who do you accept as a friend on facebook?
Do you accept every friend request you receive or do you have a list of requirements someone must meet to get acceptance? Let’s face it, we post personal information on facebook. Hopefully it isn’t enough that people could steal our identity or such, but really, if you wouldn’t share the information with someone face-to-face should you allow them access to your friendship online?
I know when I first joined social media platforms I friended and liked everyone I had ever met.
I didn’t even have to like you or agree with any of your lifestyle choices. If I had been in the same room with you at some time since first grade, then you could be my online friend.
I got to see some pretty interesting stuff people posted. Most of it was none of my business, things I found offensive or immoral, and an overwhelming waste of my time.
But I kept on keeping on. I had like 1000+ friends and they all were reading the things I wrote!
What are your requirements to keep someone on your friend list?
Yeah. I’m certain that those posting vulgar, immoral, and some flat out abusive things from their lives were devouring my lengthy posts focused on Scripture, Jesus, salvation, and getting to church.
They read every. single. word.
Of my posts from a dark time that I couldn’t seem to keep from typing. Those posts that had my real friends and family worried and checking on me. That had me in denial and confused about why everyone was so worried and checking on me.
And then I was in Wal-Mart in my hometown. Where I ran into someone I vaguely remembered.
Well, not their name.
Kinda their face.
And they struck up this conversation with me. About personal things about me and my family. Recent things. And I couldn’t figure out who would have told them any of these things or why they would feel it was ok to share this gossip ABOUT ME with me.
And then they said, “I really like being able to keep up with you on Facebook.”
In that moment I realized one of my worst fears was coming true. I was being stalked.
People I didn’t even know knew more about my personal life than people I saw face-to-face every day.
Why was I allowing EVERYONE to be my “friend”?
Are you afraid to unfriend someone? Why?
We’re nice people. Well, most of us are anyway.
We’ve been taught to accept others. To be friendly to everyone we come in contact with.
Friendly. Not friends.
The individual I smile at in a public place may not be an individual I invite into my home with my children. That isn’t rude–it’s responsible and safe.
The individual actively pursuing an addiction I’ve purposefully given up through lots of hard work, yeah, I’m not inviting that person into my closest circle of friends. I will still be friendly when we’re at the same place at the same time, but I’m not going to put myself in the position to fail.
After a second run-in with an acquaintance at best that knew too much in too much detail about my personal life, I took my friend list to God.
1000+ became less than 200 in less than an hour.
Yes, I still friend new people–on a 30-day trial basis.
I also still unfriend old people.
I understand that we all go through hard times. I’ve been there enough myself to know. I can walk that road with you.
I have real friends and family that post obscenities. Unless it’s excessive, I don’t unfriend them. I love them. I share God’s word with them. I hope I influence them in a positive way like so many others do for me.
But I’m not afraid to unfriend someone. I don’t hide them; I unfriend them.
Friends, and I believe you are, please don’t buy into the lie that you have to let everyone into your inner circle. If you wouldn’t introduce your children, nieces & nephews, grandchildren, or furbabies to them and then leave them with them to have a conversation, then unfriend them and find joy in the real connections you make on social media platforms.