Faith or Fear: Which is the Greater Risk?



There are many plans in a man’s heart, Nevertheless the Lord’s counsel–that will stand. Proverbs 19:21.

 

I’ve been thinking a lot about my future plans lately. This blog post is number two hundred and fifty. Over half of that number has been written since I started writing consistently in the middle of October.

I am finally following through with one step of one of my dreams. I am writing.

I still don’t feel like a writer, though. I think, for me, it will take a published piece before I can think of myself as a writer. Right now I consider myself a rough-drafter.

And you all, my darling readers, are my proofreaders and editors. You are my test audience. My sounding board. Mostly you’re really my friends, but I hope you’ll let me call you those other things too!

Anyway, this month my blog is focusing on risk. My next step, regardless of what it is, will be a risk.

What’s on the list, you ask?

Well, the possibilities are endless, but at the top:

1. Write a novel

2. Consider speaking engagements

3. Take some Bible/ministry classes (Advanced/Degree)

4. Start a ministry

Or, I just continue as things are without ever taking another step forward. My dreams always remaining just vague outlines of possibility hanging in the recesses of my mind just where I can’t fully see them.

You see, I’ve started that novel many times. I stop out of fear. What if no one likes it? What if I get half way through and run out of things to write? What if I just don’t fit the mold?

Yeah, self-doubt will scare the creativity right out of a girl!

Then there’s that speaking engagement thing. I’ve actually been asked a time or two. Mostly for teenaged girls. I’ve turned them down for various excuses. Yep. You read that right. Excuses.

I know women who know that they know that they know that they were called to be women’s speakers. Teachers. It’s their calling. Their gift. I know them personally. God wouldn’t want us to “compete” would He? He wouldn’t call multiple women in the same area/denomination/age group at the same time for the exact same thing would He?

Yeah, that’s me. Questioning God out loud.

Low and behold as I was pondering all of these things yesterday, I came upon

this blog post on how to choose a ladies retreat speaker. I commented to the author an additional way I thought you should go about it, but in the back of my mind I kept thinking, “Your suggestion only works if those who are supposed to speak do so.”

Sometimes the truth hurts even coming from oneself.

Bible/ministry classes. I have three college degrees already. I intend the next one to be a Ph.D. I have no idea how Bible/ministry classes can/would fit into that, nor do I know of anywhere locally to get them.

Oh, and I despise online and correspondence classes. I’m a classroom setting kinda girl. I like the relationship built in that classroom between the teacher and students and definitely between the students as they learn together.

As for starting a ministry, well, I’m absolutely not qualified. Yep, that was me that wrote this post Sunday on God not calling the qualified, but qualifying the called. I don’t have the resources. I especially don’t have the time.

Where do I go from this first step of writing consistently? I’m reading my Bible daily. Writing as I feel led daily. Now what’s next?

There are many plans in my heart. You can see some of them above. But as the Proverb tells us, it is the Lord’s counsel that will stand.

If I seek His will there won’t be risk in my next step. There will be faith.


But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Matthew 6:33

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4 comments

  • You spoke right at the heart of my heart! I do have a plan, now I need to live it. God bless you, Lady!

  • Thank you so much for this post! I definitely know what that’s like, and oftentimes I feel driven away from things by fear. Your honesty and frankness is inspiring. Thanks, and bless you

  • I am right there with you. I also feel called to speak, to minister, to serve. I am totally not qualified, but I must follow where Christ leads me. If there is even a chance that God is calling me to ministry and I say no, shame on me. Have courage and let the Holy Spirit guide you.

  • I have many of the same plans (in my head) but I have always had a problem with self doubt. I currently pray daily for the Lord’s wisdon, strength and direction in my life in general but especially in regards to my writing and sharing the Gospel with others.