Do I have a life???
I received a gift from a student yesterday that I have been thinking about since unwrapping it. It is a small (4″X4″) shadow box. The back of it reads, “Never confuse having a to-do list with having a life.”
I had to laugh when I read it. I ALWAYS have a to-do list! I’m not sure that I’ve stopped lately to reflect on whether I have a life or not.
Lots of things define me. I am a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a long-lost relative to many, a teacher, a worship leader, a sponsor of activities, a coach, an aspiring author, a student, and a myriad of other things. I have little to no “time” on my hands.
My husband and I rarely “date” or even see each other. I don’t see my sister much, but I see her more than any other family member. Other than Chris, and a few church members, I don’t have any “friends”. I don’t talk to anyone on the phone, grab lunch, or go shopping with anyone. I suppose you could say I’m not much of a daughter, grandaughter, niece, cousin, aunt, or friend.
I volunteer as much as possible at church. I love to serve the Lord in as many ways as are possible.
I devote all of my time outside of school and church to my children’s activities. I encourage them to choose activities they like, stick with them, and work as hard as possible towards acheiving their goals. This takes a LOT of time, and we give up a lot to do these things.
I suppose in the eyes of many, I have a very full life. However, I also suspect that there are some astute observers that think I have no true “life” to speak of.
When we moved to the farm this summer, I began cutting some of my volunteer activities. In doing so, we also cut some of the kids activities. If mom’s not in charge it suddenly doesn’t seem so important to go. I notice that I am less busy, but do others?
Sometimes I think that maybe I should resign from everything and take time to enjoy life. Lately I have noticed many things I could do to bless other people, to be a servant, that I have not been able to do because of obligations. I wonder if I walk away from everything if I would have more time to be a blessing.
I also wonder if I would really use my time to do that. I am who I am, who God made me.
I thrive on being busy, on being in the thick of things, on being involved. It is VERY important to me that my kids know their mom has their back. That they will look back when they are older and say that their parents gave up everything for them and their dreams. I don’t expect them to see the sacrifices today, but I hope the life I live today influences them POSITIVELY for ever.
So, back to the original question. Do I have a life?
I don’t know. I know that I try to make the best decisions I can for my kids and myself. I know that Chris and my relationship probably isn’t as good as it could be because of that. I know that I’m often saddened by the fact I don’t have any “real” friends. But I truly believe I have a life.
A full life…a real life…a life that will slow down once my kids are grown….
What about you? Do you have a life? Are you happy with your daily to-do lists?